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Bartleby: New year, new you

巴托比：新的一年，新的你

How to have the most productive working day of your life

如何拥有一生中最有效率的工作日

It’s the first full working week of 2023.

2023年第一个完整的工作周到来了。

You have two new year’s resolutions.

立下两个新年决议吧。

First, to turn yourself into a humming machine of productivity.

一是把自己变成一台嗡嗡作响的生产力机器。

No more procrastinating, no more afternoon naps.

不再拖延，不再午睡。

Second, to maximise your own sense of well-being.

二是最大限度地提升自己的幸福感。

A few days in, and your daily journal bears witness to a changed person, a model of self-caring efficiency.

几天后，每日日记就会见证你的改变，你会变成一个自理效率的典范。

07:00 Go to the gym. Leave phone at home. Mens sana in corpore sano.

07：00去健身房。把手机留在家里。高尚的灵魂寓于强健的身体。

08:00 Tell au pair to wake children, and to keep them out of your way.

08：00让互惠生叫醒孩子，叫他们别碍事。

08:15 Listen briefly to the call of a whale on Spotify. Shower. Dress.

08：15在Spotify上听一会儿鲸鱼的叫声。洗个澡。穿衣服。

08:30 Eat something with chia seeds.

08：30吃点带奇亚籽的东西。

08:40 Remove chia seeds from teeth.

08：40把塞在牙齿间的奇亚籽弄掉。

08:58 Enter home office. Great sense of wellness. Never felt weller.

08：58进入总部办公室。有种非常健康的感觉。从来没有感觉这么好过。

09:00 Turn phone off aeroplane mode and fire up laptop.

09：00关闭手机飞行模式，启动笔记本电脑。

Phone goes mad: missed calls, Slack messages, texts.

手机开始狂叫：全是未接来电、Slack消息以及短信。

Precisely where the day went wrong in the bad old days of 2022.

告诉你在2022年那段糟糕的日子里，到底出了什么问题。

Use new batching technique: respond to the oldest five emails and ignore everything else.

这时候就用新的批量处理技巧吧：回复最早的五封电子邮件，忽略其他所有内容。

Turn notifications off again.

然后再次关闭消息提醒。

09:30 Make a list of tasks that need to be completed today.

09：30列出今天需要完成的任务。

Colour-code those tasks according to priority.

根据优先等级给这些任务标颜色。

Chunk each of the high-priority tasks into discrete segments.

将每个高优先级的任务分成不同的部分。

Use combination of time-boxing and Pomodoro techniques to put them into the calendar for the day ahead.

结合使用时间盒和“番茄工作法”，给这些任务分配今日时间。

10:30 Calendar for the day is now complete. Very full few hours ahead.

10：30分配完成。前几个小时已经非常满了。

Get up and go for a walk around the block to avoid musculoskeletal problems.

站起来，绕着工作区走一圈，避免肌肉骨骼出问题。

Every so often stop and look 20 yards into the distance to maintain eye health.

时不时就停下来看20码远的地方，保持眼睛健康。

See friend on street.

去街上见朋友。

11:30 Back at desk.

11：30回到办公桌前。

Decide to find a “Study with Me” video, a recording of someone else working at their desk, as extra motivation for the day to come.

决定找一段“一起学”视频，看一段别人在办公桌前工作的录像，作为新的一天的额外动力。

Very effective technique, just need to choose the right recording.

这个技巧非常有效，只需要选择合适的录像。

Might have one with rain pattering on the windows.

可以选有雨点打在窗户上的。

Or a cat sleeping.

或者有一只猫在睡觉的。

Or logs on a fire.

或者是在火上烧木头的。

12:00 “Study with Me” recording is now playing.

12：00“一起学”视频正播着。

Went with the cats.

被猫带睡着了。

Day is slightly off-track now.

白天的时间安排现在有点偏离轨道。

Begin first 25-minute Pomodoro session.

开始“番茄工作法”的第一个25分钟。

12:25 Excellent session. Get up. Stretch.

12：25这段时间非常好。站起来。伸展伸展。

12:30 Second Pomodoro session begins.

12：30“番茄工作法”的第二个25分钟开始。

Lasers are less focused than me.

激光都没我能聚焦。

12:40 Extremely bored.

12：40非常无聊。

Try to get onto Wordle but have installed blocker on laptop that means I cannot use the site until 18:00.

想玩玩Wordle，但笔记本电脑上安装了拦截器，这意味着我在18：00之前都进不去这个网站。

Only way around this is to change the time on the computer.

解决这个问题的唯一办法就是改变电脑的时间。

Not sure how to do this but it cannot be that hard.

我不太知道该怎么改，但能有多难呢。

13:30 It is quite hard.

相当难。

But Wordle is done (in four tries!).

但是Wordle已经完成了(试了四次！)。

Clock on computer is now totally wrong; saying it is 2024.

电脑上的时钟现在完全错了，显示是2024年。

Just need to change it back.

只要把它改回来就行了。

14:00 No time for second email-batching session.

14：00没有时间进行第二次邮件批量处理了。

Lunch and well-being hour begins an hour late.

午餐和幸福时间晚一小时开始。

Make open sandwich with rye bread, salmon, dill.

用黑麦面包、三文鱼、莳萝做开口三明治。

Use stacked-habits advice to do two mindfulness exercises at once: self-administer head massage while listening to soundtrack of grasshopper noises.

使用习惯叠加法的建议，同时做两个正念练习：一边听蚱蜢的声音，一边自我按摩头部。

15:00 Activating hermit mode.

15：00激活隐士模式。

Ditch Pomodoro technique: need to get at least two hours done before final email-batching session.

抛弃“番茄工作法”：在最后的电子邮件批量处理阶段之前，需要至少两个小时才能完成任务。

Use timer tab to set countdown clock going on my browser.

用计时器选项卡设置浏览器上的倒计时时钟。

15:30 Not made great progress.

15：30进展不大。

Feeling a bit worthless.

感觉自己有点没用。

Open the compliments folder in my email inbox to remind myself of praise I have received from colleagues in the past.

打开电子邮件收件箱中的赞美文件夹，让自己回忆一下过去从同事那里得到的赞美。

15:45 Starting to feel a bit panicky.

15：45开始感到有点慌。

As last resort use “Write or Die”, an old program that starts deleting your work if you have not met targets for word count.

使出最后的手段，用“写或死”，这是一个旧应用，如果你没有达到字数目标，它就会开始删除你写的东西。

Helps just to get something on the page.

如果只是要在纸上写点东西，这个就很有用。

16:15 FFS.

16：15 我真的会谢。

Child came in with something hairy (a rat? Someone else’s hair?) glued to her hand.

孩子拿着毛茸茸的东西(老鼠？别人的头发？)进来了，说是粘在她的手上了。

By the time I had shooed her out, “Write or Die” had erased most of what I had got done.

我把她赶出去的时候，“写或死”已经把我完成的大部分工作删掉了。

17:00 Have used child’s stencil set to make a very professional poster that says “Do not enter: I am working”.

17：00我用一套儿童漏字板制作了一张非常专业的海报，上面写着：工作中，勿进。

I will paste it on my door here.

我要把它贴在我的门上。

Good to get this done.

很高兴能把这件事做完。

Need a pick-me-up, so am going to attend laughter-therapy session that the company has been advertising.

需要提提神了，所以我要去参加公司一直在宣传的笑疗课程。

17:30 Couldn’t get sound to work for some reason.

17：30由于某种原因，这些声音没有作用。

Everyone looked completely mad on the laughter-therapy thing.

每个人看起来都对笑声疗法感到非常生气。

Have logged the problem with IT.

已将问题记录到IT部门。

17:45 Third (well, second) email-batching session begins.

17：45第三次(好吧，第二次)电子邮件批量处理开始。

Notifications back on, and email opened.

把消息提醒重新打开，电子邮箱也打开。

Torrent of messages.

消息就和连珠炮一样。

Four calls from my boss.

我老板打来了四个电话。

Hard to tell what is going on, but everyone seems upset that I have been consciously prioritising work.

看不出是发生了什么，但每个人看起来都对我一直有意识地优先考虑工作感到生气。

Typical.

每次都这样。

18:00 Ring boss.

18：00给老板打电话。

I have until 9am tomorrow morning to get something done for a new client.

我必须在明天早上9点之前为一位新客户办点事。

Feel much better.

感觉好多了。

If only people could just set me an urgent deadline every day.

如果人们每天都能给我设定一个紧急的截止日期就好了。

来源：经济学人