从寄养儿童到空军战士

Essays About Work and Class That Caught a College’s Eye: Rob Henderson
从寄养儿童到空军战士

Each year, to urge them on, we put out an open call for application essays about these subjects and publish the best essays that we can find. This year, we chose seven with the help of Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford whose new book, “How to Raise an Adult,” is coming out next month.

《纽约时报》每年公开号召学生写有关金钱、职业和社会阶层方面的大学申请陈述,并且发表我们所能找到的最好的文章。今年,我们挑选出了七篇。以下是第三篇。

HOMETOWN

家乡

Red Bluff, Calif.

加利福尼亚州雷德布拉夫

HIGH SCHOOL

高中

Red Bluff High School

雷德布拉夫高中

COLLEGE PLANS

大学计划

Undecided*

未定

For years, I’ve reflected on what qualities enable people to overcome adversity. I believe my journey exemplifies that one answer is a synthesis of initiative and resilience. From foster care, to a broken home, to military service, to two tours of duty in the Middle East, initiative and resilience have steered me to where I am today.

多年来,我一直在思考一个问题,那就是什么样的品质能帮助人克服逆境。我相信自己一路走来的历程可以证明,主动性和韧性的结合便是其中一个答案。从寄养所,到破碎的家庭,再到从军,最后到两次前往中东完成服役期,主动性和韧性成就了今天的我。
I was born into poverty to an immigrant mother. When I was 2, my mother’s drug addiction caused me to be placed into the Los Angeles County foster care system. I lived in seven different homes over the next five years. Some homes had more than 10 foster children living in them. The families were of many ethnic backgrounds; I was compelled to develop social skills to receive care from distracted foster parents. I was a curious boy and enjoyed interacting with the people around me.

我出身贫寒,母亲是一位移民。两岁的时候,因为母亲吸毒成瘾,我被安置到了洛杉矶县的寄养体系下。在接下来的五年里,我辗转住过七个不同的家,其中有些家里住着十多个寄养儿童。孩子们来自不同族裔背景。寄养家庭的父母照顾不过来这些孩子,为了得到关心,我被迫学会了一些社交技能。我是一个有好奇心的男孩,乐于和周围的人交流。

At age 7, I was adopted by a married couple and their daughter. I enjoyed calling my new parents “mom” and “dad” and saying “I have a sister.” As a boy who hadn’t had a family, it made me happy to finally be a part of one.

7岁那年,我被一对育有一个女儿的夫妇领养。我开心地叫新父母“妈妈”和“爸爸”,并且跟人说“我有个姐姐”。作为一个一直没有家庭的男孩,我很高兴自己终于能够成为家庭的一份子。

Two years later, my parents revealed they were ending their marriage. This was crushing. I observed as my parents argued and noticed they often mentioned my adoption. I found a sanctuary to escape: the school library. There I read Encyclopedia Brown and other favorites. My adoptive mother was granted custody of me; consequently my adoptive father severed ties with me because he knew it would hurt my mother. I was heartbroken and curious why a dispute with my mother resulted in my father not speaking to me. I asked adult relatives and they’d skirt the question. There was one adult who was truthful.

两年后,父母向我透露他们准备离婚。这对我来说是一个打击。父母争执的时候我会观察,注意到他们经常提及我的领养问题。我找到了一个避风港,那就是学校图书馆。在那里我阅读了《百事通布朗》(Encyclopedia Brown)等喜欢的书籍。养母获得了我的监护权,所以养父断绝了我和他的关系,因为他知道这会伤害到我的母亲。我很伤心,也很奇怪,为什么养父母之间的一次争执会导致父亲不再理我。我问过成年的亲戚,但他们也只是回避这个问题。只有一个大人说了实话。

She was a coworker of my mother’s named Shelly. She related that when adults are hurt, they can behave irresponsibly. I was grateful for her honesty and we became close. My mother soon entered a relationship with her. As a young boy, I was puzzled that my mother could now be in a relationship with Shelly. My mother explained that in our society young gay people are often socialized into believing they’re heterosexual and then, as adults, embrace their attraction to the same sex. This blew my 9-year-old mind and intensified my interest in the complexities of human behavior. My mother and her partner Shelly raised me into adolescence.

她就是母亲的同事谢莉(Shelly)。她告诉我,当大人受到伤害时,他们的行为也许会变得不负责任。我很感激她的坦诚,之后我们的关系变亲近了。母亲很快就和她开始了一段感情。作为一个小男孩,我对母亲怎么能和谢莉在一起感到很困惑。母亲解释道,在我们的社会里,年轻的同性恋人士经常为了变得合群而认为自己是异性恋,而长大成人后,他们开始坦然接受自己受到同性吸引的事实。这对9岁的我来说是一个冲击,也增强了我对人类行为复杂性的兴趣。母亲和她的伴侣谢莉一直把我抚养到青春期。

Shelly was shot when I was 14. I was terrified that she wouldn’t survive; I felt great affection for her. I was rejected by other parental figures, yet Shelly chose to help care for me. She survived after extensive surgery and received an insurance settlement which she and my mother used to buy a home. One year later, our home was foreclosed. I’d developed enough resilience to overcome the ordeal and I decided to take initiative.

在我14岁的时候,谢莉遭到了枪击,我很害怕她挺不过去。我能感受到自己对她的深厚感情。当我被其他充当家长的人物拒之门外的时候,是谢莉选择帮忙照顾我。谢莉在接受了大手术后活了下来,母亲和她用保险赔偿金买了一个房子。一年后,我们的家被贷款机构没收了。不过我已经有了足够的韧性来克服这一严峻的考验,并且决定要主动面对。

After graduating high school, I decided to join the military during the Iraq surge in 2007. I understood the risks, and the structured image the Air Force evoked, combined with my desire to serve my country, gave me good reason to enlist.

高中毕业后,正值2007年伊拉克增兵行动期间,我决定入伍。我明白其中的风险,不过空军所展现出来的井然有序的形象,加上自己报效祖国的心愿,给了我很好的理由去应征。

While military life was demanding, my efforts paid off. A unification of resilience and initiative in an ordered environment has led me to success. I’ve accomplished much over the last seven years because the Air Force provides an organized setting that contrasts with the chaos of my upbringing. I developed leadership and collaboration skills by serving abroad alongside people of all backgrounds, from the Middle East to Europe. Moreover, I achieved fluency in another language, learned more about the human experience and gained awareness of my own potential.

尽管军队生活很严苛,但是我的努力得到了回报。在井然有序的环境里,韧性和主动性共同引领我走向了成功。过去七年,我收获颇多,因为空军提供了一个有条不紊的环境,不同于我成长过程中的混乱。通过在海外与从中东到欧洲的不同背景的人共同服役,我的领导能力和协作能力得到了提升。此外,我能够流利地使用另外一门语言,对人类的境遇有了更多的了解,并且意识到了自己的潜能。

My aim is to become a psychologist and further explore the themes of resilience and initiative to assist people who’ve endured traumatic situations. My trials as a youth along with my military service have inspired me to help others overcome adversity.

我的目标是成为一名心理学研究者,继续探索有关韧性和主动性的主题,从而为承受精神创伤的人提供一臂之力。童年的磨练和军中服役的经历激励着我去帮助其他人克服困境。

来源:纽约时报

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